Another Traumatic Flashback

I am seeing my past again. I'm shit scared trying to play my guitar well as I was demanded to and I didn't want play it anyway. I tried to relax as I knew what he was going to make me do, but I was too scared now I get another picture from another time. I can't remember why I don't think I have a clue why I came home from school one day to be told I wasn't allowed to go to school the next day he said it to me angrilly, abusively and threateningly. I was scared yet again thinking there is no possible way I would be able to get outta there for good. My dad doesn't want me to live with him and I'd never be able to get out of Turkey Beach anyway. That was one of the times I was really serious about killing myself. I think he was drunk at the time as usual. I wasn't sure how drunk but after I had gone to bed. I saw him take my mobile phone and put it in the fire. I was too scared to do anything at the time. I think he put some sort of flammable liquid on the fire too. He never admitted to it but it was so fucking obvious that it was definetely him. Which brings me to another time I was reminded of he came into my caravan while I was sleeping. I knew something wasn't right when I came out of my sleep I woke up suddenly. it was only 2:30 in the morning and I saw him go through my stuff and made a huge mess and walked out again and the only lame excuse he could come up with is that me and mum always hide cigerettes in there and he wanted one but he never found one and I am pretty certain that wasn't the truth because no one needs a cigerette during sleeping hours especially 2:30 in the morning what a stupid pathetic barstard. Who would stoop so low as to do that?